I’m going on a sabbatical.
As some of you may have already noticed based on my lack of presence lately on social media…
I have made the decision to go on an indefinite sabbatical (a.k.a taking a long extended break from work).
In addition to making this decision, I have also made several difficult and surprising decisions in the last 3 weeks:
I discontinued my Creator Supercharged mastermind and off-boarded all my high ticket clients.
I scaled down my multi 7-figure business. I downsized my team from 9 members to just 1, and canceled all the masterminds, contracts, and subscriptions I’m a part of.
I’m retiring my signature program, The BOSSGRAM Academy – for good.
I stepped down from all my speaking engagements, including the ones that I've had on my vision board since I started this business.
I sold my $160,000 Porsche 911 and swapped it for a Jeep Wrangler. Here’s our goodbye pic:
You might be thinking… what the heck!? This B is crazy!
I want to explain, but first I want to share a story about my good ol’ corporate days:
When I first quit my corporate job back in 2018, nobody in my circle was shocked by the decision, but everyone was shocked by the timing.
“It feels so random! You JUST got your promotion and now you’re quitting!?”
“You’re such an all-star. I really thought you would have climbed your way up to the top! You were so close.”
If I’m being honest, choosing to go on this sabbatical feels quite similar.
It feels like I’m quitting right when things are finally happening.
“I’m finally getting the big dog speaking engagements!”
“Holy shit! I’m finally making $500k months!”
"I'm so close to 1M YouTube subscribers!"
“I’m finally growing and scaling! I'm finally a somebody!"
And yet, at the height of accomplishing these things, I found myself losing total control of my life and mental well-being.
I found myself squeezing my life and relationships around the demands of my business…
Instead of building a business around the life that I ultimately want to live.
At the same time, a part of me also feels like I'm quitting too soon.
But here's what I learned from reading the book, "Quit" by Annie Duke, where she says:
"Quitting on time will usually feel like quitting too early.
If you quit on time, it's not going to seem like anything particularly dire is happening at that particular moment.
That's because quitting is being able to glimpse at the range of ways the future might play out and see that the likelihood that things will turn out poorly is too high to make it worth your while to continue."
In my case, I've come to realize I've been building a bigger and bigger hamster wheel where deep down, I
1. Know won't have an end, and
2. Know I won't enjoy running.
In other words, I've created this machine that I don't even like, and I'm realizing it's a machine I no longer want to run.
This isn't to say that I'm leaving entrepreneurship.
This is to say I'm taking a break to redefine what entrepreneurship looks like for me.
I mean, isn’t that why I started making videos on YouTube in the first place?
Isn’t that why I left my corporate job?
To work less, earn more, and have control over where I want to spend my time.
And yet, here I am…
Falling into the same patterns as I did in my corporate job, constantly striving for more at the expense of myself, chasing things I think I want, getting them, and then left feeling dissatisfied, burnt out, and again, chasing yet another thing.
Don’t get me wrong, though.
I love what I get to do. I'm grateful for this career.
I love making videos. I love writing. I love creating.
I love it especially when the things I create help people.
But lately, I feel like:
1. I’m doing less of the things I love.. and when I do them, it's no longer sparking the same joy it did before.
2. I’m doing more of things I don’t love, and
3. I’m saying yes to things I don’t even want to do.
... all for the sake of keeping this machine running, pleasing people because I want to be liked, and
never wanting to disappoint others because I feel so responsible for everything.
In the past, to solve this problem, I would keep making pivots in my business -- whether externally or internally.
However, these pivots often felt rushed and don't always feel 100% aligned due to the constraints I've built in the business: employees, clients, projects, pre-committed events, large expenses, etc.
Which is why I want to take a step back.
A big step back.
Back then, I’ve often taken small breaks here and there to recover.
At the same time, I’ve never wanted to take too much time off, because I would always have a large team on standby, big expenses that I needed to cover, and thousands of clients and subscribers that I felt I needed to take care of. (Yes, the responsible thing!)
But this time, I want to approach “taking a break” differently.
Which is why I’ve dissolved most of this machine so that I can take this break without feeling obligated to come back, and to only come back when I truly feel ready.
I feel like I owe it to myself and my body to take an indefinite sabbatical to just relax, learn what it means to truly be present and content with what I have, pursue my curiosities without constraints, and most importantly explore what it would look and feel like to simply just be.
When I return, I would love to share my findings with you (and tbh, I'm fighting every single bone in my body to write an essay)...
But until then, it’s something I look forward to discovering for myself, first.
So, before I wrap up this “goodbye for now” announcement email, I want to share 2 questions that helped me make this decision to go on this sabbatical.
1) First question:
“If you found out you had only 3 years to live, what would you do differently in your life?”
When I answered this question, it led me to want to make the exact decisions I’ve made in the last 3 weeks:
I would simplify.
I would take a break.
I would spend more time with my mom and dad.
I would say “No” to everything that didn’t feel like a “Heck yes”.
I would stop caring about what everyone else thinks.
2) Second question:
“If those are the decisions you would make if you found out you only have 3 years to live…. Why wouldn’t you do it now? Why would you wait until you only had 3 years to live?”
… And so here we are :)
No matter your situation, whether your desire is to take a step back and scale down like me, or whether it’s to finally step on the gas pedal and go all in on something…
My wish for you is to have the courage to do what your heart truly desires.
But more importantly, to also have that same courage to change course any time you change your mind on what you want.
So, here’s to me taking the same leap of faith I took back in 2018 when I quit my corporate job.
And here’s to you for getting to the bottom of this post.
I hope that you find a lesson in me sharing my decision, and I wish you a beautiful, healthy, and purposeful 2023.
Goodbye for now and with immense gratitude always,
Vanessa
PS: Please note that I won’t be actively managing any of my inboxes during this time. While I may not respond, please know your words of encouragement and support are whole heartedly received. ️ Thank you for respecting this sudden decision and giving me the space I need to recalibrate. Love y'all.
Also - to all the team members who have played a huge role in this growth - thank you for everything we've accomplished, and for all the hard work that often goes unnoticed by the masses. You know who you are.
